Saturday, February 28, 2015

Fire Down Below by Debra Anastasia

Dove Glitch is embarrassed about everything above her knees and below her belly button. when she has to fill a delicate, embarrassing prescription the last thing she needs is a sexy-as-hell (and brand spanking new) pharmacist behind the counter. 

Johnson Fitzwell's first day of his dream career also happens to coincide with the exact moment Dove needs her feminine meds filled. His glorious voice is way too loud-as in, he should be counting down the hits with Ryan Seacrest kind of loud. Thanks to Johnson's handsome face and gorgeous jaw line, Dove dives headlong into her walking nightmare and asks for vagina-scented cream. 

How could she not fall for him? Dove's only active goal now is to get Johnson to kiss her right on the lips. Either set. However, his horrible girlfriend is one of many obstacles preventing her from making that fantasy and reality. When Dove defends Johnson in the most unhygienic, unconventional gross way in the middle of a crowded restaurant, their tender, slightly, tantric relationship is of to galloping, farting start.

Each print copy of this book will be dipped in holy water by my mom, and glared by my father as he purses his lips. Neither will help. So, drop your pants and turn to the left and cough. I hope your not allergic to latex, because it's time to fill your prescription. Anally. 

I think my cookie is still itching after reading this book! Lol All I have to say is if you haven't 1-clicked on this book, then what are you waiting for! This laugh out loud book will have tears falling down your eyes from laughter as well as your legs! Wear some Depends if you have a weak bladder because there is no doubt you will piss your pants!

I can honestly say every page has something so hilarious in it that you can't help but keep turning the pages. From squirrel porn to weirdo Steve, you can't help but see what shenanigans will happen next. It's hard for me even writing this review because reading Fire Down Below is a must read and you have to experience this gut wrenching laughter yourself to understand it. 

Like Duke says, "Sniff it, Live it, Be it!" mark those words! 

I'm keeping this review short and simple. Reading Fire Down Below gave me the farts and sh!#'s. So if you excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom again. 

         Saucy Books 
    Fire Down Below
      Debra Anastasia
         ***** 5 *****
    Red Dirty Smooches

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